Christian Polygamy

In the bible you find plural marriage not only to be a common and accepted form of marriage, but also a protected one. The biblical definition of “marriage” is not “one man one women”, but “becoming one flesh” (Gen 2:24), and since according to Paul you can become one flesh with a whore (1 Co 6:16), it is by no means restricted to “one man one woman as such”, but to “one man one woman at a time”. The point about marriage in the bible is that it is a lifelong commitment, a lifelong responsibility, and it is formed by the act of becoming one flesh - no church, no state necessary. By sleeping with someone, you marry him or her. That’s the biblical concept of marriage, it is as simple as that.

If polygamy was sin, why would God tell David through the prophet Nathan that He has not only given him his predecessor’s wives into his arms, but would also have given him more if that was not enough? But David had to run off and sleep with a married woman (adultery = sleeping with a married woman, the marital status of the man does not figure into the definition), and then kill her husband by proxy (murder) - see 2 Sam 12:8.

If polygamy was sin, why would a man be required to take his widowed sister in law and produce offspring with her in order to provide an heir for his untimely deceased brother, no matter if he was married already or not (Deu 15:5-10) ? This, by the way, is also contrary to the common incest laws.

If polygamy was sin, why would the law of Moses specifically provide for the first wife and protect her from being cast aside for a ‘younger model’, as man in his fallen state is prone to do (Exo 21:10)?

If polygamy was sin, why would Jesus portray himself as the bridegroom to ten virgins, five of which proved themselves to be unprepared and therefore unworthy (Mat 25:1-13)?

And if polygamy was sin, why would God portray Himself as the husband of two wives to make His point about the idolatrous nature of His people (Eze 23)?

Marriage, according to Scripture, can be either polygamous or monogamous.  The important bit about marriage, however, is that it is a lifelong commitment, a covenant not to be broken by man - the only exception being the woman committing adultery (Deu 24:1, Mat 19:9). Adultery and whoremongery are sexual relationships outside this marriage relationship, not inside of it. You cannot commit adultery with you own wife, or be a whoremonger with your own wife. That’s why the marriage bed of a polygamist is undefiled (Heb 13:4).

Let’s continue where we left off last time we talked about marriage, and elaborate a little on what Scripture has to say about marriage.

Like we said, to read romantic notions of marriage, i.e. exclusivity between one man and one women into biblical marriage is to insert a secular, romanticized concept into the bible that is simply not there.

If you want to point to the “Song of Solomon” for notions of romantic love, please remember who Solomon was and how many wives he loved - and yes, he sinned in not listening to the commandment not to multiply wives to himself as the king (Deu 17:17), and in marrying foreign wives who turned out to be a snare to him with their foreign religions (1 Kings 11:1-6). And Jesus came through this line, came through people like Abraham and Jacob, through the union of Judah and Tamar, David and Bath Sheba, Uriah’s widow, all of whom were people who in some way or another lived in a polygamous relationship, or in the case of Judah and Tamar, had issues with the Levirate marriage commandment - check it out in Matthew 1 and the respective chapters in Genesis, 2 Samuel and 1 Kings.

If you want to point to Paul talking about letting every man have his own wife and every women her own husband (1 Cor 7:2) to prove that Paul advocates monogamy, please look at the two different Greek words translated as “own” here and you will find that they both pertain to the man, that both state possession from the man’s perspective - her “own” husband is her “proper” husband, the husband that properly possesses her, just as his “own” wife, “own” being a reflexive pronoun here, is the wife that he possesses, that belongs to him, that he is responsible for. If you look at the language, this verse is not a verse pointing to exclusivity with regards to how many wives a man can have, but rather to a woman belonging to one man alone, thus pointing to the responsibility on the part of the man, but doesn’t indicate quantity when it comes to wives.

Besides, the context in 1 Co 7:2 indicates the reason for marriage in the first place: to avoid fornication. Men have to take responsibility for every woman they sleep with for by sleeping with a woman, a man makes her his wife. Even in today’s world, by the way - a marriage that is not consummated is not a valid marriage in court, but could be dissolved based on the fact that it was never consummated, since it can legally be considered null and void. So the biblical standard is kept up here in this regard.

The bible uses no specific term for polygamous relationships, but simply calls having a wife or more than one wife “marriage” - and whenever “marriage” is mentioned in the bible, it refers to the biblical definition of marriage that includes both polygamy and monogamy, and not to a modern day definition of marriage that is based on a romantic concept and a social preference, in our small part of the world, for this romantic ideal.

A while back we had a brief blog post on one of our sites (I cannot recall which) concerning Oprah’s broadcast about polygamy. A main feature of this broadcast was an investigative reporter by the name of Lisa Ling. Well, it seems as though this particular episode has been re-broadcast, because many people are showing up on our sites who are looking for more information.

If you know anything about us, or have read any of the materials on our sites, you know that we do not watch television, and haven’t done so in several years, so we have no information about Oprah, Lisa Ling, or their perspectives on plural marriage in the United States…we can only assume it’s not much different from the majority viewpoint.

However, since people are coming to the site seeking information, we would to say a few words, since we have your attention

First, stop watching television. The reasons are numerous, and well documented, and require no elaboration from us…either you will read this little tidbit of advice and heed it, or you will not. We hope that you do. For us, there is not enough time in the day to waste on garbage like the Oprah Winfrey Show, and would hope that you discover some better ways to utilize the gift of time that God has given you here, such as working together in a family business, reading aloud, long walks, or rolling around on the floor tickling the little ones.

Secondly, the world is filled with false teachers and false prophets (profits), and it is our position that Oprah Winfrey is one of them. She leads people astray in all directions (away from the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob),  with New Age mumbo jumbo, and has for years. Ummm, stay away from such people.

Thanks for listening

A lot of verses in the bible talk about marriage (Heb 13:4, Psa 128:3, Pro 5:15-23, 1 Co 7:2-3), and they are very wonderful verses, stressing the beauty and responsibility of a lifelong commitment made before God and the beauty of people caring for each other in a godly fashion. God protects marriage indeed, it is a godly bond that secures the dominion covenant.

But the conclusion that theses quoted verses prove polygamy to be sinful, adulterous and whoremongery is wrong - here, presuppositions shape theology, and not the other way around. Polygamy, according to the presupposition, is not marriage, so the verses about marriage cannot apply to one man and many wives, but have to apply to one man one wife only. This presupposition is not a biblical, but a romantic concept.

Polygamy, viewed from a biblical perspective, is simply “marriage”. If you look up the word “marriage” and its verb in the Old and New Testament, you will find that the word is related to:

• a contract - “to marry: to give yourself in marriage, to take a wife, to get married” (H2992, G1060),
• a possession - “to possess, to rule over” (H1166),
• conjugal rights, literally, the flesh (H5772b), and
• a ceremony (G1062).

Nowhere is there mentioning of “star-crossed lovers”, a “soul mate”, or the “prince on the white horse”, so to read romantic notions of marriage, to read exclusivity between one man and one women into biblical marriage is to insert a secular, romanticized concept into the bible that is simply not there.

We have a dream of what our Christian plural marriage family will look like, and if you are potentially interested in joining us as a sisterwife, here is what would await you, what you would be a vital, active participant in.

We dream of a big family, up to seven wives and our husband, and a whole lot of children, as many as God might grant us. We hope that our Christian polygamous family will be multi-generational soon, either with old or left-alone parents of the sisterwives to join us, or when our children are old enough and take over what will be prepared for them, so that there can be progress both in Kingdom Building and in the raising of a God fearing, patriarchal, independent, self-sufficient, big polygamous family that

“shall speak with the enemy in the gate” (Ps 127:5).

Read more.