What do you tell a person who has been living happily in a polygynous relationship as the second wife, has two small children, and now all of a sudden has to separate from her husband and sister wife because the hitherto happy family has realized, no doubt with the help of their Christian friends, that polygamy is wrong ?   The family wonders about moving to a place where wife #2 can live in a house or apartment of her own yet close to her former husband and sister wife so that the children still have both parents to grow up with and the poor second wife does not lose her husband’s and sister wife’s friendship because they are all really close.  But doing this of course would still pose a danger in their Christian friends’ opinion because who knows, they might be falling back into their terribly sinful polygamous lifestyle if the second wife does not take her children and move away and have her husband pay to support her and the kids from afar.

What would you tell wife #2 ?  What would you tell her husband ?  What would you tell the Christian “friends” who advise them ?

Well, I have advice for them all.

To the wife I would say:  Rejoice, there is nothing wrong with your marriage.  Return to your husband and sister wife and be happy and may Yahweh bless you with many more children.

To the husband I would say: Rejoice, take your two wives and be happy, and repent from the sinful idea of putting away your second wife.  Also, get rid of those so called friends who told you polygamy was wrong. They are of their father, the devil.

To the Christan friends I would say: Leave the poor family alone !  Your advice is wicked and ungodly, it creates pain rather than relieving it, it robs a wife of her rightful husband, and children of their father.  Keep your false teaching to yourselves and stop looking for biblical wisdom that helps you to argue against polygamy – there is no such thing because the bible tells you that polygamy is marriage, nothing more, nothing less.  Stay out of other people’s lives since you do not have biblical wisdom to offer, but only the adversary’s lies.

A lot of verses in the bible talk about marriage (Heb 13:4, Psa 128:3, Pro 5:15-23, 1 Co 7:2-3), and they are very wonderful verses, stressing the beauty and responsibility of a lifelong commitment made before God and the beauty of people caring for each other in a godly fashion. God protects marriage indeed, it is a godly bond that secures the dominion covenant.

But the conclusion that theses quoted verses prove polygamy to be sinful, adulterous and whoremongery is wrong – here, presuppositions shape theology, and not the other way around. Polygamy, according to the presupposition, is not marriage, so the verses about marriage cannot apply to one man and many wives, but have to apply to one man one wife only. This presupposition is not a biblical, but a romantic concept.

Polygamy, viewed from a biblical perspective, is simply “marriage”. If you look up the word “marriage” and its verb in the Old and New Testament, you will find that the word is related to:

• a contract – “to marry: to give yourself in marriage, to take a wife, to get married” (H2992, G1060),
• a possession – “to possess, to rule over” (H1166),
• conjugal rights, literally, the flesh (H5772b), and
• a ceremony (G1062).

Nowhere is there mentioning of “star-crossed lovers”, a “soul mate”, or the “prince on the white horse”, so to read romantic notions of marriage, to read exclusivity between one man and one women into biblical marriage is to insert a secular, romanticized concept into the bible that is simply not there.