Christian Polygamy

In the bible you find plural marriage not only to be a common and accepted form of marriage, but also a protected one. The biblical definition of “marriage” is not “one man one women”, but “becoming one flesh” (Gen 2:24), and since according to Paul you can become one flesh with a whore (1 Co 6:16), it is by no means restricted to “one man one woman as such”, but to “one man one woman at a time”. The point about marriage in the bible is that it is a lifelong commitment, a lifelong responsibility, and it is formed by the act of becoming one flesh - no church, no state necessary. By sleeping with someone, you marry him or her. That’s the biblical concept of marriage, it is as simple as that.

If polygamy was sin, why would God tell David through the prophet Nathan that He has not only given him his predecessor’s wives into his arms, but would also have given him more if that was not enough? But David had to run off and sleep with a married woman (adultery = sleeping with a married woman, the marital status of the man does not figure into the definition), and then kill her husband by proxy (murder) - see 2 Sam 12:8.

If polygamy was sin, why would a man be required to take his widowed sister in law and produce offspring with her in order to provide an heir for his untimely deceased brother, no matter if he was married already or not (Deu 15:5-10) ? This, by the way, is also contrary to the common incest laws.

If polygamy was sin, why would the law of Moses specifically provide for the first wife and protect her from being cast aside for a ‘younger model’, as man in his fallen state is prone to do (Exo 21:10)?

If polygamy was sin, why would Jesus portray himself as the bridegroom to ten virgins, five of which proved themselves to be unprepared and therefore unworthy (Mat 25:1-13)?

And if polygamy was sin, why would God portray Himself as the husband of two wives to make His point about the idolatrous nature of His people (Eze 23)?

Marriage, according to Scripture, can be either polygamous or monogamous.  The important bit about marriage, however, is that it is a lifelong commitment, a covenant not to be broken by man - the only exception being the woman committing adultery (Deu 24:1, Mat 19:9). Adultery and whoremongery are sexual relationships outside this marriage relationship, not inside of it. You cannot commit adultery with you own wife, or be a whoremonger with your own wife. That’s why the marriage bed of a polygamist is undefiled (Heb 13:4).

Let’s continue where we left off last time we talked about marriage, and elaborate a little on what Scripture has to say about marriage.

Like we said, to read romantic notions of marriage, i.e. exclusivity between one man and one women into biblical marriage is to insert a secular, romanticized concept into the bible that is simply not there.

If you want to point to the “Song of Solomon” for notions of romantic love, please remember who Solomon was and how many wives he loved - and yes, he sinned in not listening to the commandment not to multiply wives to himself as the king (Deu 17:17), and in marrying foreign wives who turned out to be a snare to him with their foreign religions (1 Kings 11:1-6). And Jesus came through this line, came through people like Abraham and Jacob, through the union of Judah and Tamar, David and Bath Sheba, Uriah’s widow, all of whom were people who in some way or another lived in a polygamous relationship, or in the case of Judah and Tamar, had issues with the Levirate marriage commandment - check it out in Matthew 1 and the respective chapters in Genesis, 2 Samuel and 1 Kings.

If you want to point to Paul talking about letting every man have his own wife and every women her own husband (1 Cor 7:2) to prove that Paul advocates monogamy, please look at the two different Greek words translated as “own” here and you will find that they both pertain to the man, that both state possession from the man’s perspective - her “own” husband is her “proper” husband, the husband that properly possesses her, just as his “own” wife, “own” being a reflexive pronoun here, is the wife that he possesses, that belongs to him, that he is responsible for. If you look at the language, this verse is not a verse pointing to exclusivity with regards to how many wives a man can have, but rather to a woman belonging to one man alone, thus pointing to the responsibility on the part of the man, but doesn’t indicate quantity when it comes to wives.

Besides, the context in 1 Co 7:2 indicates the reason for marriage in the first place: to avoid fornication. Men have to take responsibility for every woman they sleep with for by sleeping with a woman, a man makes her his wife. Even in today’s world, by the way - a marriage that is not consummated is not a valid marriage in court, but could be dissolved based on the fact that it was never consummated, since it can legally be considered null and void. So the biblical standard is kept up here in this regard.

The bible uses no specific term for polygamous relationships, but simply calls having a wife or more than one wife “marriage” - and whenever “marriage” is mentioned in the bible, it refers to the biblical definition of marriage that includes both polygamy and monogamy, and not to a modern day definition of marriage that is based on a romantic concept and a social preference, in our small part of the world, for this romantic ideal.

We have a dream of what our Christian plural marriage family will look like, and if you are potentially interested in joining us as a sisterwife, here is what would await you, what you would be a vital, active participant in.

We dream of a big family, up to seven wives and our husband, and a whole lot of children, as many as God might grant us. We hope that our Christian polygamous family will be multi-generational soon, either with old or left-alone parents of the sisterwives to join us, or when our children are old enough and take over what will be prepared for them, so that there can be progress both in Kingdom Building and in the raising of a God fearing, patriarchal, independent, self-sufficient, big polygamous family that

“shall speak with the enemy in the gate” (Ps 127:5).

Read more.

Recently, our activities on various internet discussion groups have prompted us to consider providing an apologetic on the topic of polygamy, or plural marriage. At first I resisted this notion, because several years have already been spent in similar endeavors. I personally studied the topic from a scriptural perspective, and then tested this against the knowledge, wisdom, and opinion of various other people. In the end, I became not just convinced but convicted that, from a biblical perspective, plural marriage is right, and true, and as completely valid a form of marriage as that of monogamy. I also came to understand that, for all the biblical proof that points to this fact, most people will simply refuse to see the truth of it, and fall back on what is now common opinion and ethic, and so I laid a defense of the principle aside and turned more towards the practical aspects of living a polygamous marriage. That was 4 years ago…

As I said, however, our recent activities have prompted us to reconsider providing a defense of Biblical Plural Marriage, and so we will present the case, from a completely scriptural perspective, within the pages that follow. As we go through this together, I want to mention to you and have you keep in mind that we are primarily concerned with defending Biblical Plural Marriage against those of the Christian faith, as they are, first, the most rabid opponents of Biblical Plural Marriage, and second, they would benefit most from a proper understanding of Scripture in every regard, including that of Biblical Plural Marriage. Finally, we have no concern for the opinions of unbelievers and make no attempt to address their concerns here.

Stay tuned for more.